On being a grandparent......

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Having grandchildren is such an amazing experience. Like having a child, there is nothing that prepares you for the experiences and feelings that engulf your life once they're here.  I am blessed to have three awesome grandchildren and every day they occupy my mind.

I constantly marvel at how fast they're growing........how easily they learn new things.........at their enthusiasm to try new experiences.........and then I worry about all the things that could possibly happen to them.  Not that I'm neurotic about it, I just worry.

One of biggest issues I struggle with is sharing them with everyone else in the world that loves them too!  Now that they're old enough to begin understanding their own feelings, likes and dislikes, they often share things about the other grandparents.  As I listen to them, sometimes I'm smiling inside.....sometimes I'm jealous.....and sometimes I'm angry.  I am becoming the quintessential diplomat as they share those things, because I've realized, to color their thinking with my own preferences and bias would not be fair to them.  These are intelligent little kids, who as they mature will make their own evaluations of people and experiences.  It's just hard not to want to protect them from everything and everyone.  Yet, just like I had to learn to "let go" of my own daughters, I have to tenderly hold my grandchildren realizing I'm just one of many who love and care for them.

To be honest......I have my selfish moments..........I have my egotistical moments........and probably on the full spectrum of feelings I'm a little narcissistic when it comes to my children and grandchildren wanting them to love me the most.  What I'm learning to do is love the moments I have with each of them.......cherish the hugs and kisses.......knowing that God has a plan for their life, and I'm just one little cog in the wheel of life that propels them forward..........still........

Finding Purpose

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I recently posted this picture on my page on Facebook, because it resonated with me.  I think we all have moments of self doubt  about ourselves, our lives, & our decisions.  There is no one on earth who has escaped the thought of wanting to give up because what we've grown accustomed to has changed.

There are seasons of our lives that seemingly flow without effort, and as we become comfortable in those moments, inevitably the storm clouds begin to form on our horizon.  Everything changes, and as we grasp to hold on to what was comfortable, we begin to realize we can't.  And so, human nature being what it is, we sometimes begin to think that "if I'd done this", or "if I'd said that", things would have remained as we wanted...........we begin to think we are not worthy of everything that was good.

What I have learned through my years, is that everything has it's season.  That when we go through trials, it is not necessarily a punishment for things we did or didn't do or say.........sometimes, it's just time to grow to the next level of maturity.  To improve what is good within is, to become more of what God intended us to be.

It is difficult to lose........it is difficult to admit we were wrong........it is difficult to admit we said things we shouldn't......but in the end all that matters is that we become better......more compassionate to others, more understanding, more willing to accept the changes.......more willing to find good in the little things that truly matter.  Perhaps the trials we all endure, are the shaping blocks that enable us to help someone else........take advantage of those trials......learn, grow, and be the rock for someone else who is suffering.