Sunday, January 5, 2014

Walk the Talk

Who hasn't heard the phrase, "because I told you so!".......and I'm betting it was your mom or dad who said it more than once in your lifetime!  Of course there are times when it's totally logical and acceptable to use that phrase....but, have you ever had it come back to "bite you" later?

I was thinking about how we tell our children to do this, do that...think this, think that, and assume they'll just do it "because we said so".  And yet, how many times have you told your children to do something and then turned around and done the opposite know they do watch and listen to us!  

For instance, they come home from school one day upset 
 because of what a classmate said to them.  We try to toughen them up and tell them to just "turn the other cheek" to that person and be kind to everyone.......maybe good in theory, but that's hardly the solution.  And, then......oh my.......they over hear you telling one of your friends what "so and so" said about you or someone else, and your children can hear the anger in the tone of your voice.  So what kind of message is that to your child?  The "do as I say, because I said so" is hardly worth the air you breathed, if you turn around and contradict yourself.

It's so important to really listen to what our children are telling us, and then "walk the talk" if we expect them to do what we've told them to do.  I know it's easy to say, and so much harder to do, but parenting is never promised to be easy.  Parenting is perhaps one of the most exhausting, frustrating, perplexing and lonely things a human will ever undertake.  There are a million books and articles on "how to parent", but in the midst of life we are pretty much left to our own devices.  

There will be times that we look and sound like the Dali Lama in our wisdom, and there are times we'll look like a raving maniac......but, the short of it is, that if you expect your children to do as you say, you can't just order an edict and expect them to comply if you don't follow your own advice.  Why?  
"Because I said so!"

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